As the day of departure continues to draw near, my brain activity is at an all time high. So much so that I feel like I should be writing it all down to help with this process, but as I sit here at the computer it is such an enormous orchestra of happiness, sadness, excitement, nervousness, gratitude and dreams that I can’t seem to figure out a way to get it out via typing. I wonder if this was how the concept of bittersweet symphony was formed...?
I surpassed quite an emotional hump last week in finishing my goodbye letters to my grandparents. Now that I can leave the country will full comfort in knowing that they will both know exactly what they mean to me and what a crucial piece to my existence they are, I am letting myself feel much more joy about my adventure ahead. Not that I wasn’t feeling joy before or that I had any question as to my grandparents being aware of my feelings… but the thought of leaving them was the one factor that caused me to think twice about applying for the Peace Corps. I have written them both many letters before and have always verbally communicated my love and gratitude for them, but this time is different. I thought about posting the letter to my Gpa on here since I know that most of the people who read this are fully aware of the amazingness that is my Gpa to me, but I think I’ll decide on that after he reads it. I mean, who doesn’t love a piece of love? Seeing love definitely makes me smile, so maybe it will make you smile as well :)
I pack a little more everyday, deciding on which clothes to take and which ones I get to open up in 28-months and remember I have. Which pictures of my life to take to show my host family (this is a task that immediately clarifies who and what is important in your world). Which art supplies and books, which pillowcase, which shoes…everything else being packed up for storage. Pre-cancelling insurance policies, my cell phone, my gym membership, writing the living will, setting up banking details, etc. Eating as much of my favorite foods as possible while delighting in how easy it has been to switch to the nearly-vegan lifestyle and still be a total foodie. Yes, Danielle has helped me realize recently that we are food snobs (not in my eyes, but potentially in the eyes of others I imagine). But I have no shame in not wanting to put nasty, unhealthy things in the one body I have for this life, nor am I interested in supporting corporate America’s ideals about food. And, my 13-year old sister is getting on the bandwagon as well, which I’m very excited about.
I’m working on finishing up my last art project of the summer as well, which is wine barrel that I’m painting the world on, and Danielle will fill the top with wine corks and put a glass top on for a bistro table. I’m pretty pumped about it. Also just finished reading Tales of A Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman. Beautiful, honest writing by a woman who discovered after twenty-some years of marriage that she didn’t want to live the American lifestyle and has been living all over the world ever since, writing children’s books and creating and participating in beautiful cultures and communities everywhere she goes. She has bigger balls than I do, and I definitely want to meet her someday.
For now, run out and get yourself some good Thai food and listen to some Andrew Belle.
Peace and love,
Emily Jo
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Veganism is looking quite nice
It has been progressing toward this for the past year or so. I’ve been in the company of more and more vegans/vegetarians since moving to Seattle, thus learning more about it… the incredible nastiness that is the meat process in this country, the USDA, EPA and the FDA all with their hands in each others’ pockets, the horrifying chemicals and disgusting lethal shit that is found in all non-organic meat and dairy in this country… then I watched Food Inc. And then Skinny Bitch and Goveg.com pushed me over the edge. I have a feeling it will be difficult to make the complete transition to vegan while living with a host family in a country which I don’t speak the language, but as soon as training is over and I’m cooking my own food I can completely say peace out to the dairy as well. Holy. Effing. Nasty. Check out my previously mentioned resources and see how you feel afterwards. And please believe, my stopping the consumption of cheese will be a task. But I will prevail, damnit.
On the Peace Corps preparation front, I’m expecting my staging email in the coming week, as I am now less than a month away from departure. I get more excited and more nervous all the time… not nervous about going there, but more so about leaving every single human I love for 27 months, my grandparents in particular. It is an obvious possibility that the day I leave could be the last day I’ll ever see them again. The amount of nights I have spent this summer crying myself to sleep over the thought of this I cannot count. They are both aware of this too, and we have talked about it, though it is a nauseating conversation to have. I remind myself that something could happen and I may not make it there in time even if I’m in the same town. And anything could happen at anytime to any one of my loved ones even if they aren’t of the grandparent status. It’s a wretched thing to think about, and the one thing on the list that caused me to hesitate when navigating the application process for PC. I’m going to miss 27 months of Kasen and Saraya’s lives, her learning to talk, him starting Kindergarten, her blue eyes, him calling me the latest nickname (currently he is Bumblebee and I am Optimus Prime:) Thank God for Skype, or I’m sure the amount of crying nights would skyrocket. This is going to be my first Christmas ever away from my friends and family. The first Christmas eve in I don’t know how many years not spent in Ashley’s kitchen slinging turkey and potatoes and cheese balls for hours. My first Christmas with James, without even being able to sit next to him. My first birthday without friends, though I’m sure I’ll be spending it with new ones. Its incredible the amount of sadness and happiness that one soul can facilitate at the same time.
I spend today figuring out which pictures to take with me to share with my host family, picking out which of my Gram’s recipes I wanted to take with me, and jamming all of my winter clothes into Spacebags (these are amazing by the way) so it will all fit in my suitcases. It has been really fun packing things away that I won’t be taking with me and knowing how fun its going to be to unpack it in 27 months. Packing boxes for Danielle to send to me later is exciting too lol, I can only imagine how pumped I’m going to be to get my Chicago Cutlery, art supplies and wine opener in the mail. Eff yes.
So don’t forget to watch Food Inc. and/or read Skinny Bitch
. Its straight up madness people, madness.
Much love,
Emily Jo
On the Peace Corps preparation front, I’m expecting my staging email in the coming week, as I am now less than a month away from departure. I get more excited and more nervous all the time… not nervous about going there, but more so about leaving every single human I love for 27 months, my grandparents in particular. It is an obvious possibility that the day I leave could be the last day I’ll ever see them again. The amount of nights I have spent this summer crying myself to sleep over the thought of this I cannot count. They are both aware of this too, and we have talked about it, though it is a nauseating conversation to have. I remind myself that something could happen and I may not make it there in time even if I’m in the same town. And anything could happen at anytime to any one of my loved ones even if they aren’t of the grandparent status. It’s a wretched thing to think about, and the one thing on the list that caused me to hesitate when navigating the application process for PC. I’m going to miss 27 months of Kasen and Saraya’s lives, her learning to talk, him starting Kindergarten, her blue eyes, him calling me the latest nickname (currently he is Bumblebee and I am Optimus Prime:) Thank God for Skype, or I’m sure the amount of crying nights would skyrocket. This is going to be my first Christmas ever away from my friends and family. The first Christmas eve in I don’t know how many years not spent in Ashley’s kitchen slinging turkey and potatoes and cheese balls for hours. My first Christmas with James, without even being able to sit next to him. My first birthday without friends, though I’m sure I’ll be spending it with new ones. Its incredible the amount of sadness and happiness that one soul can facilitate at the same time.
I spend today figuring out which pictures to take with me to share with my host family, picking out which of my Gram’s recipes I wanted to take with me, and jamming all of my winter clothes into Spacebags (these are amazing by the way) so it will all fit in my suitcases. It has been really fun packing things away that I won’t be taking with me and knowing how fun its going to be to unpack it in 27 months. Packing boxes for Danielle to send to me later is exciting too lol, I can only imagine how pumped I’m going to be to get my Chicago Cutlery, art supplies and wine opener in the mail. Eff yes.
So don’t forget to watch Food Inc. and/or read Skinny Bitch
. Its straight up madness people, madness. Much love,
Emily Jo
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