So this post doesn’t have anything to do with Peace Corps, it is just me downloading about the crazy spiritual jumble in my head today. I frankly only have one or two people in my life that I can talk to about spiritual-type things… I can, but I feel like I don’t really have anyone who actually relates to what I’m saying/thinking most of the time. And most of the time I just keep it to myself to spare the weird looks. I’ve talked about this slightly in previous posts, but 2012 (I hate that the movie industry has succeeded in making this number sound cheesy just in itself) is drawing near, and while many people have many different theories about what we’re in for, if anything. I believe that we are going to be shoved to the next plane of consciousness. I feel that some(many) of us are already well on our way, or at least understand what is coming at its minimum, as I have been impatiently waiting for the shove for quite some time. The longer we go before it happens, the more our planet is destroyed and the more social destruction takes place at the hands of the few that are in control of the money and resources. My patience for people who have no concept of anything outside of their own egos and who can’t manage to display one shred of compassion for anything but their own gratification and ‘happiness’ has grown incredibly thin if not completely disappeared. My verbal filter when in the presence of these types of folk has also grown thinner with time. I don’t know if it’s those of us that ‘get it’ that are going to move forward, or if everyone is going to be forced to move forward together. I would like to think that it is going to be the point where we leave those selfish ones behind, but who knows. I would also like to think that the fanatical religious zealots may finally understand that Jesus was not our ‘savior’ in the manner that is preached and ‘spread’ hypocritically around the world and a reason to discriminate and hate, but communication (probably the most important communication) from God with a message that not everyone was meant to fully understand until this age. Hence the continued misinterpretation of the Bible… It sounds to me as though Jesus was communicating a message trying to explain what we are fully capable of once we understand what it means to be conscious. In essence, telling us how to be our own ‘saviors’. As we were all created in the ‘image of God’, are we not all destined to mentally evolve into beings that are all capable of the ‘miracles’ performed by Jesus while he was on Earth? Hindu guru Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj states, “Get hold of the main thing: That the world and the self are one and perfect. Only your attitude is faulty and needs readjustment.” I’m definitely looking forward to seeing what is going to happen, but at the same time I’m slightly nervous. Will the relationships we have now no longer exist? Will we all evolve into bodies that serve the new purpose, such as those of the alien life-forms we all have seen ‘pictures’ of or something else? The whole concept is something that I think about on a daily basis, and being over here in Macedonia where very few folk speak English gives me much more time to think rather than speak, which makes it that much more pronounced in my mind.
I suppose I’ll be super-nerdy and also mention the crop circles. The mainstream media dismissed it long ago, particularly after some bored attention-seeking farmers decided to claim half-assed responsibility, so the only place you can find valid information and research is in scientific peer-reviewed journals, but those communications carry a ton of information as to what kind of mental progress we have made, and what may be coming as well, not to mention the proof that we’re being monitored in a non-threatening but encouraging way. The control of the media is a frustrating situation, it is actually nice to not be exposed to and accosted by it over here. The arrogance of people and the idea that we’re the only life in the entire universe just blows my mind. And then the fact that those most arrogant have control of our governments, media and essentially our well-being compounds the frustration. I have been contemplating what direction I want to go with my work when I return to the states, what kind of organization I want to work for, whether I want to get another Masters or not, etc. I feel a definite pull in the environmental awareness direction, as well as the art/writing direction, and also the peace studies direction…but clearly I have yet to figure that out. Maybe after 2012 none of these fields will be necessary. I’m sure the next couple of years will help me hone that. The work of John Perkins, Daniel Pinchbeck, and Jane Goodall have been my go-to’s lately. Maybe by some serendipitous miracle I can work with or for one of these incredible humans upon my return.
Regarding Peace Corps, PST continues. I love my family, my group and Kratovo! I don’t so much love having 4 hours of language everyday… my brain turns off after about 3. Also, I pride myself on being a good communicator, and having a very solid grip on English grammar, pronunciation, usage and spelling. So being in a situation in which I can barely communicate at the level of a 4-year old is magnificently frustrating. We’ve also been told to be thinking about what kind of placement we want to be in for the next couple of years so they can do their best to match our likes/skills to the needs of the Macedonian organizations. I know scenic beauty is very important to me, one of the lake communities would be amazing, though I know that is many a volunteer’s fantasy… and I would really love to work with an organization whose mission is environmentally based, and one where some kind of art program would fit somewhere for my side project… and I also need to be somewhere where I can get wheat bread, wheat flour, brown rice, brown pasta, etc. for my little insulin resistance sitchy. Having art and good food in my life are important to me, as well as being in an organization whose mission is true to my heart. We’ll see what happens of course!
Peace and love,