Monday, November 8, 2010

BOO T-Mobile

This blog entry is dedicated to the suckiness of T-Mobile.  

Dear T-Mobile.  I have been a happy and dedicated customer for the past 5 years of my life. I have never made a late payment, and I have even defended you to various disapprovers of T-Mobile. When I was preparing to leave for Peace Corps, I was even sad that I would not be able to use my phone that had still been kicking ass after those entire 5 years even after full submersion in a glass of beer in year 2 of its life, as well as multiple high-impact encounters with concrete and various other hard surfaces.  And then one fateful day in June of this year, that lovely phone finally stopped taking a charge and I knew it was about to die for good.  In order for me to get a cheap phone to use for my remaining 2 months in the country, you forced me to renew my contract.  I was resistant; as I knew I was leaving and would have to cancel.  You reassured me that I would not be charged a cancellation fee because I was leaving for the PC and there was an exception for that.  So I brought in ALL the paperwork you requested of me… my staging instructions, my invitation letter, my flight itinerary, everything.  I also talked to at least 6 of your employees, as well as 3 in person who took copies of my paperwork to make sure that I would not be charged the $200+$40 tax cancellation fee.  I left the country on September 11th feeling comfortable that all would be well.  

TODAY, I check my bank account and lo and behold, a $263 charge has been deducted from my bank account on November 2nd. “WTF” I scream at the computer screen as my vision blurs with anger… How many more people did I have to talk to to make sure that this was taken care of? Is T-Mobile staffed by 3rd graders? Having no way to call them, and being that they don’t have an email address on the website, I choose the live chat option to tell them what idiots they are and to put my money back in my account immediately.  “I see ma’am that you were charged the cancellation fee.” No SHIT. “I also see that you provided the paperwork and weren’t supposed to be charged.” AWESOME. “I will put in a request for your money to be credited to your T-Mobile account. Then you can contact us and we will credit it back to your bank account.” Wait a minute.  I have to contact you AGAIN to get you to give me the money you stole directly out of my bank account when all you have to do is click a button? And when am I ‘allowed’ to contact you again to remind you how stupid you are and to give me my money? “December 8th.” DECEMBER 8TH? That is absurd I say, as I remind her of the ease with which she extracted the money from my account even though it said ALL OVER my account that I wasn’t to be charged this insanely high non-justifiable fee.  “I’m sorry ma’am, these things take time to process.” Yet you can snatch my money in under 3 seconds. What if I had closed that bank account and wasn’t even monitoring it, I ask, now that it is nearly drained anyway...  My credit slowly deteriorates without my knowledge for the next two years because I trusted a corporate group of f*@ktards to handle a seemingly CLEAR business transaction? BEAUTIFUL.  Oh wait, the transaction wasn’t benefitting THEM, I understand now! Thank you mysterious web-chat-help lady, please note in my account that I will not be returning to T-Mobile when I return to the states, and that I’ll be telling as many people as I possibly can about what bumbling idiots staff your company.  I could also insert a line about my hatred for the corporate world, but I will refrain for the sake of my already pulsing eyeballs.  

So here’s to you, T-Mobile. I’ll let you imagine the picture yourself.