Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Adjustment

So the transition back is somewhat rough so far, more so than I expected it to be after only 5 months.  Before getting here, I dreaded having to talk to anyone and explain myself a million times, but I’ve gotten far more joy and love and happiness that I’m home than anyone caring why I actually came home.  The question I’ve gotten most is:  “Weren’t they feeding you over there?”  Apparently I’m super skinny.  I’m sure I will fatten back up right quick with my mom feeding me and Mexican food at my disposal.  Aside from not really wanting to talk to anyone that isn’t in my immediate circle at the moment, it feels very very good to be home. 
The hardest part about this whole thing for me has been reconciling in my head the fact that I’ve wanted to join Peace Corps since I was a kid, and then I got partway through my service and realized that it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing at all.  I tried for quite awhile over there to tell myself that it was normal, but it wasn’t until I was actually happy again that I realized how incredibly unhappy and not myself I was while I was there.  I’m now legitimately excited about the future again, and what is to come. I was there long enough to learn what I needed to learn from the brief experience, and I am ready to move forward.  I know I want to stick close to home (meaning stateside) for awhile, and in other decision affirming news, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday.  The doctor is very optimistic and encouraging, so we are optimistic and encouraged about the road ahead.  In other words, I would have come home anyway as soon as I received this news.  All good energy, positive vibes, prayers and love for my mom and her boobie is greatly, greatly appreciated :)
James and I will be cruising to Phoenix in a Uhaul on February 25th to begin the next chapter, and I couldn’t be more excited.  Pre-Peace Corps, Phoenix was one of the last places I wanted to be, and now it feels like I’m headed to the joyous vitamin D loaded mecca for old people of my dreams.  The blogs may be sporadic for awhile as I get my head on straight again, but the writing soothes my soul so I’ll get back to my normal rate eventually, perhaps more.  I don’t want to start writing too much that is in my head right now and regret it later, so I’ll be a bit withdrawn for awhile…
Onward and upward :)
EM

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