Monday, January 3, 2011

You almost won this time, crazed raging hormones.

Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about the flailing emotional rollercoaster that PMS injects into my brain, causing me to curl into myself like a black hole of optimism-sucking doom and question every factor of my current existence.  Not only does this uncontrollable occurrence of nature ram into my brain like an asteroid, it does so sneakily… so stealth in fact that I don’t even realize what time of the month it is, nor do I remember that I have a slight hormone imbalance, or why I feel like Armageddon has just descended upon my life plans.  It is only days later when my lady-parts start firing flaming poison-tipped arrows at my other lady-parts that my brain suddenly emerges from the vast and seemingly endless pit of black pessimism sludge and starts to function clearly and logically once again.  Birds are chirping, the clouds part, and the sun emerges…if only to let me know that it does, in fact, still actually exist.  
Ok, so I’m constantly accosted by unhealthy food, drinks and cigarette smoke.  I will continue to politely say no and go on with my day, my work, and my life while avoiding rooms filled with the poison cloud at all costs.  My desire is not to offend by declining; my desire is to maintain my physical health. 
And my Macedonian sucks.  It has slowly been draining from my brain since the last day of PST.  I rarely use it, I very rarely need to use it, will very rarely need to use it in the future of my work here given the nature of the projects I’m doing, and at this point see my language capabilities growing very little over the next two years.  I will not continue to stress about this. I am fine with this.  I have what I need to survive and take care of myself, and will learn more at leisure during the next two years. (This is me reaffirming feel-good statements for the sake of my mental health.) 
And a few other things that I will remain PC about. 
So shame on you, overabundance of chemicals, for making me question whether or not I should really be here due to a few minor/petty details.  Of course I should be here. My job is awesome, my colleagues are awesome, and I’m one lucky chick.  This year is going to be kick ass, even though you managed to obliterate the first 3 days of it.  The rest are mine.