Do you ever think of conversations that you had back in high school? When your brain is taking in and taking in and being socialized on a different level than it has been in the past… when you’re figuring out what you believe in but you’re not ready or really even sure how to communicate it yet… your actions don’t always necessarily reflect what you are actually feeling on the inside but you don’t know any better or fully understand what happened in your childhood to cause you to think and act the way you do. I think about specific conversations from that time period. Ones where I wish I would have had the articulation to tell a friend how I really felt about a situation on the inside and how I thought it would affect them… ones where I wish I could have explained to someone how much they were hurting me in the moment rather than letting it bottle up past the point of my understanding of forgiveness.
But I suppose that’s not how it’s meant to be. If it were, we would be born with already fully developed brains. Established morals, values, personality traits, etc. as soon as we appear in the world. Would this not defeat the potential purpose of life? To learn, experience, adapt… essentially grow your soul? It is easy to look back with every year and reflect, to see what led to what, what experience made you react to a certain situation in a certain way, what dreams and goals you had and how you have manifested them on your path through life so far. What you enjoy doing, what annoys you, how you behave in social situations, how you feel about life and what you feel your purpose for being here is. It then becomes a bit easier to look around you currently and make more educated guesses at what the near future may actually look like as a result of what is happening in your life now.
This waiting for my Peace Corps departure has given me a lot of time to think about things in a much more relaxed state than I have been for most of my still-short adult life. I have been very blessed in the last few months to have much much more spare time on my hands than I have ever had, and happen to be living with my best friend three hours from my hometown where almost all of the most important people in my life live… rather than the eight hours it has been for the last five years. And I have been soaking up and savoring every moment I have until I leave for Macedonia… the more days I have the more grateful I am for them. Life just keeps getting better, I keep getting happier, the love in my life just keeps growing. I wish that everyone in the world could be so happy and appreciative of what life is and what it could be like given the right attitude… understand that everyone and everything is connected…it would defeat the supposed purpose of wars, religions, genocide… all the negative things that separate people from each other in their minds.
Just finished reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett, a historical novel set in the 60s, written from the perspectives of two black slaves and a white woman trying to collect their stories and publish them during the incredible racism in Mississippi during the civil rights movement. Beautifully written story and a necessary read. Also just returned last week from an amazing adventure that my best friend planned as my graduation present… Gig Harbor for the 4th of July, lovely wine-filled Chelan, and the epic gift of the earth that is Stehekin. Again, the relaxation :) And a special congratulations! to my friends Genevieve and Avi on their most lovely wedding last night, it truly was the most wonderfully beautifully real expression of love that I have ever been so lucky to witness. It was a lovely reflection of the two of you, and I am so happy to have been there :)
The summer is flying by, and I’ll be departing soon… in the meantime, still relishing every moment and squealing for joy at the fact that Danielle and I have pit tickets for Dave at the Gorge this year. Oh it will be the perfect way to send myself off… joy, joy and more joy!
With love and gratitude,
Emily Jo
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Graduation+Macedonia = Joy
So after months and months of anticipation and mental preparation for an assignment in my nomination continent of Africa, I finally received my invitation! I must admit that when I opened my letter and it said Macedonia, I wasn't sure exactly where that was. When I realized that it was on the northern border of Greece, I literally cried for joy. Not for joy of not going to Africa, I was incredibly excited about that as well. But Greece and Italy, and the Mediterranean/Balkan area in general have been at the top of my travel list for years. I have spent many many hours daydreaming about the beautiful streets, the old architecture, the art, the history, the FOOD, the wine, the community, the language, the natural beauty... everything about visiting that region of the world. And here I am, being handed a 27 month assignment to do the work that I live so passionately for, for free, in the land that I have subconsciously and vocally fantasized about for years. Whoever doesn't believe that life ISN'T as you dream it, can come talk to me.
In addition, I don't leave until September 10th. Which allows for one more month at the lake, time for me to go to the Gorge and see Dave, time to go see my amazing Teri in DC, and one more month with my loves at home. Then I depart for Skopje, the capital of Macedonia for 8-12 weeks of intensive language/cultural/government/program training. I'll be learning Macedonian as well as Albanian, and will be living with a Macedonian host family throughout my training. Again, hooray for the food! Once training is complete, I will be sent to my individual site and be living on my own in order to begin work with whichever organization(s) I'm assigned to. My work (at this point I'm told) will mainly consist of NGO (non-governmental organization) Advising/Development, which includes leadership training, acquiring funding, program implementation and development, and building infrastructure and sustainability for future mission success. There are also opportunities for side projects, which we have a bit more freedom with. My plan is to incorporate art of course, though this will depend on the need and situation. It could be a community art project, an art support type group for youth, or an art group for the elderly, I obviously won't know how I get to implement this until I arrive and assess the needs of the community. But I'm most definitely giddy with excitement about any and all of the above :) Peace Corps also does supplemental projects that any volunteer can become involved with if they choose to do so. There is a summer camp for boys and well as girls in Macedonia that Peace Corps does that involves leadership skills, female empowerment, arts and crafts, and many other fantastic things for disadvantaged youth. Joy! It is in my nature to be involved with as much as possible, so we'll see where that road takes me!
Regarding current affairs, my Masters graduation is here! My wonderful family and closest friends are all here (shout out to Danielle, who cannot be here due to her other best friend's enormous wedding - don't worry she is totally making it up to me), my most incredible Gpa is coming, cane and all, and letting me dress him up complete with bowtie, and the love of my life also arrives tomorrow :) There has been much celebration already this week, and there is more to come over the next few days! I never thought I would be so excited to wear that cap and gown, but this time I get to wear a hood, damnit! I nearly busted a tear in rememberance of everything that our cohort has gone through and accomplished to get to this day, and the amount of stress and chaos endured to reach this one moment of achievement and relief. The pride in my Gpa's eyes make every single moment worth it.
So here's to my 2010 graduate cohort - regardless of the many paths that we will take, we are all working towards the same goal. I deeply value and cherish each and every one of you and the contributions, experience and love that you have all brought to the table the past two years. I have made friendships that I know will last a lifetime, and created memories with you that I will treasure forever. Sunday on that stage, Chiew will eloquently speak us into the next chapter in our lives and it will take us not more than 6 seconds to walk across the platform and shake Father Sundborg's hand. Then it is up to us; to continue fighting the good fight, to forge as well as maintain the relationships that strengthen our movement, and to educate others in the matter of saving the world. So raise your glasses folks: to all graduates of 2010, to showing, giving and spreading love among humankind, and to the epic battle for the greater good. We CAN make the world a better place, and today is your proof. Continue to inspire and be inspired, and be the light for others to follow out of the dark. I am proud to know you, and proud to be a member of this amazing cohort.
*Cheers!* to you, and to this beautiful thing called life.
With love and gratitude,
Emily Jo
In addition, I don't leave until September 10th. Which allows for one more month at the lake, time for me to go to the Gorge and see Dave, time to go see my amazing Teri in DC, and one more month with my loves at home. Then I depart for Skopje, the capital of Macedonia for 8-12 weeks of intensive language/cultural/government/program training. I'll be learning Macedonian as well as Albanian, and will be living with a Macedonian host family throughout my training. Again, hooray for the food! Once training is complete, I will be sent to my individual site and be living on my own in order to begin work with whichever organization(s) I'm assigned to. My work (at this point I'm told) will mainly consist of NGO (non-governmental organization) Advising/Development, which includes leadership training, acquiring funding, program implementation and development, and building infrastructure and sustainability for future mission success. There are also opportunities for side projects, which we have a bit more freedom with. My plan is to incorporate art of course, though this will depend on the need and situation. It could be a community art project, an art support type group for youth, or an art group for the elderly, I obviously won't know how I get to implement this until I arrive and assess the needs of the community. But I'm most definitely giddy with excitement about any and all of the above :) Peace Corps also does supplemental projects that any volunteer can become involved with if they choose to do so. There is a summer camp for boys and well as girls in Macedonia that Peace Corps does that involves leadership skills, female empowerment, arts and crafts, and many other fantastic things for disadvantaged youth. Joy! It is in my nature to be involved with as much as possible, so we'll see where that road takes me!
Regarding current affairs, my Masters graduation is here! My wonderful family and closest friends are all here (shout out to Danielle, who cannot be here due to her other best friend's enormous wedding - don't worry she is totally making it up to me), my most incredible Gpa is coming, cane and all, and letting me dress him up complete with bowtie, and the love of my life also arrives tomorrow :) There has been much celebration already this week, and there is more to come over the next few days! I never thought I would be so excited to wear that cap and gown, but this time I get to wear a hood, damnit! I nearly busted a tear in rememberance of everything that our cohort has gone through and accomplished to get to this day, and the amount of stress and chaos endured to reach this one moment of achievement and relief. The pride in my Gpa's eyes make every single moment worth it.
So here's to my 2010 graduate cohort - regardless of the many paths that we will take, we are all working towards the same goal. I deeply value and cherish each and every one of you and the contributions, experience and love that you have all brought to the table the past two years. I have made friendships that I know will last a lifetime, and created memories with you that I will treasure forever. Sunday on that stage, Chiew will eloquently speak us into the next chapter in our lives and it will take us not more than 6 seconds to walk across the platform and shake Father Sundborg's hand. Then it is up to us; to continue fighting the good fight, to forge as well as maintain the relationships that strengthen our movement, and to educate others in the matter of saving the world. So raise your glasses folks: to all graduates of 2010, to showing, giving and spreading love among humankind, and to the epic battle for the greater good. We CAN make the world a better place, and today is your proof. Continue to inspire and be inspired, and be the light for others to follow out of the dark. I am proud to know you, and proud to be a member of this amazing cohort.
*Cheers!* to you, and to this beautiful thing called life.
With love and gratitude,
Emily Jo
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Edjumacayshun
If you make an effort to make one person smile every day for the rest of your life, think of the amount of lives that you can impact in a positive way. Most of us are blessed enough to make someone smile every day without effort throughout childhood, so even if you only lived to be 50, that is 18,250 days that you have to make someone smile. If you live to be 90, that is 32,850 days. That's a lot of smiles. And then what if they pass on those smiles... or you make more than one person smile that day? You efforts are being increased exponentially. Now think about if you’re doing more than making them smile. What if you’re doing something that is actually improving their life, even if it just is for that day? Little things, even the cliché things. Holding a door open, helping a grandma carry something, buying a homeless man a sandwich. Now think about something bigger. Something that will change a person’s entire life. I try to think of many examples..vaccines...clean water..healthy food, but the one most important example that lives in my soul is that of education. I suppose if we all had a ‘flag to fly’ that would be mine.
I recently finished reading Three Cups of Tea, the story of one of the most incredible humans that I have ever read about, and what he is doing to change the world. He is building schools for children in the most volatile area of our world, thus cultivating peace through education and trying to save children before the Taliban reaches them and fills their minds with hatred and killing. This man, Greg Mortenson, is the closest example that I can find to the kind of human that I want to be, and he is doing the work that I dream of doing on a daily basis. Greg builds schools for children who otherwise would be attempting to learn math by writing in the dirt with sticks. Children who are so eager to learn, that they repeat everything he says just so they can learn more words. Here is all the info, do yourself and others a favor :) http://www.threecupsoftea.com/
In America, public school is free and in abundance… yet is taken for granted by so many. Parents sometimes don’t see the value, so they don’t teach their children the value. On the other side of the world, there are little girls who are in a tunnel so dark that the only light they see is the one within themselves, and they will do anything they possibly can to be able to ignite it.
The upcoming Peace Corps experience obviously is on my mind every day. I wonder where I’ll be, what I’ll be living in, what kind of work I’m actually going to be doing…etc. I of course will perform to the highest of my abilities in any role that I am given, but working with an educational organization would make my heart sing the loudest for sure:) Through our education in the states, I think that we are exposed to global issues in a very technical way, making some of the most important issues seem like a logistical problem rather than a human problem. I think it’s hard sometimes for people to not think of suffering humans as statistics rather than individuals who need help. Because we’re taught in numbers… numbers of humans that are affected by an umbrella issue. Not in stories of individuals, the reason for their situation or what changes could be made to rectify or begin to escape from that situation towards a better life. We don’t learn about those things until later. Why…because the people writing curriculum think that children ‘can’t handle it’ until a certain age? Children are becoming more and more evolved as time goes on, and information is a billion times more available now than it ever was. So why hasn’t curriculum evolved as well? If we teach kids more about what is really going on (of course in an age appropriate way), would that not give them years of head start on developing and implementing solutions to the problems that they are going to face in their lifetime? We ‘shelter’ them through conservative curriculum, and they grow into naïve adults… and given the amount of people that actually smile about Sarah Palin and the bullshit that comes out of her mouth, I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one.
An abrupt end, I know. Just wanted to put that out there:)
Peace and love,
Emily Jo
I recently finished reading Three Cups of Tea, the story of one of the most incredible humans that I have ever read about, and what he is doing to change the world. He is building schools for children in the most volatile area of our world, thus cultivating peace through education and trying to save children before the Taliban reaches them and fills their minds with hatred and killing. This man, Greg Mortenson, is the closest example that I can find to the kind of human that I want to be, and he is doing the work that I dream of doing on a daily basis. Greg builds schools for children who otherwise would be attempting to learn math by writing in the dirt with sticks. Children who are so eager to learn, that they repeat everything he says just so they can learn more words. Here is all the info, do yourself and others a favor :) http://www.threecupsoftea.com/
In America, public school is free and in abundance… yet is taken for granted by so many. Parents sometimes don’t see the value, so they don’t teach their children the value. On the other side of the world, there are little girls who are in a tunnel so dark that the only light they see is the one within themselves, and they will do anything they possibly can to be able to ignite it.
The upcoming Peace Corps experience obviously is on my mind every day. I wonder where I’ll be, what I’ll be living in, what kind of work I’m actually going to be doing…etc. I of course will perform to the highest of my abilities in any role that I am given, but working with an educational organization would make my heart sing the loudest for sure:) Through our education in the states, I think that we are exposed to global issues in a very technical way, making some of the most important issues seem like a logistical problem rather than a human problem. I think it’s hard sometimes for people to not think of suffering humans as statistics rather than individuals who need help. Because we’re taught in numbers… numbers of humans that are affected by an umbrella issue. Not in stories of individuals, the reason for their situation or what changes could be made to rectify or begin to escape from that situation towards a better life. We don’t learn about those things until later. Why…because the people writing curriculum think that children ‘can’t handle it’ until a certain age? Children are becoming more and more evolved as time goes on, and information is a billion times more available now than it ever was. So why hasn’t curriculum evolved as well? If we teach kids more about what is really going on (of course in an age appropriate way), would that not give them years of head start on developing and implementing solutions to the problems that they are going to face in their lifetime? We ‘shelter’ them through conservative curriculum, and they grow into naïve adults… and given the amount of people that actually smile about Sarah Palin and the bullshit that comes out of her mouth, I don’t think I need to elaborate on that one.
An abrupt end, I know. Just wanted to put that out there:)
Peace and love,
Emily Jo
Sunday, March 14, 2010
To Peace Corps!
So I haven't blogged about Peace Corps yet. Everything has gone so fast since I decided to apply, I don't think it has fully settled in that I'm going yet. Of course I haven't been told what country I'm going to yet, so I can't fully wrap my head around anything at this point. I decided to apply in late October, submitted my application in November, interviewed the following week, was accepted the same day... and then I didn't expect a nomination until at least March. In January I got my nomination phone call from my recruiter for an NGO Advising assignment in community health to Sub-Saharan Africa (this means any open African country except Morocco right now). At first I was in shock, but then the elation took over. She speculated that I would get an invitation letter and more specifics on the assignment in June or so. The aniticipation is killing me. Most days I'm excited as hell, but some days I get a little nervous, have a bad dream, or just sit there and think of all the different ways I could be killed living in Africa by myself for 2+ years. But then I think of all the ways I could be killed here as well, and decide to draw up a living will just in case. *three cheers for cremation!*
I don't really miss Seattle all too much yet, I've been enjoying all the sun in Spokane and discovering with Danielle all the places worthy of going. I most definitely miss the people in Seattle, however, and eating all my favorite food at a moment's notice. But being able to come home to Libby and see my families whenever I want is most definitely the highlight of this time period :) Another highlight is of course is this wonderful man that showed up and made me all melty and lovey-dovey and whatnot ;) It's going to make leaving rougher than it will be already, but I'm optimistic that it will be alright... :)
On a side note, some creepy asshole has been prank calling me... only the number shows up on my phone as someone that is in my phonebook. So I call the company to figure out what's up, and they tell me that on some of the newest phones, there is a program that allows you to call someone, but te number shows up as someone in the 'victim's' phonebook. That, to me, is some creepy ass shit. So he told me to file a complaint with the FCC, because they are currently working on making that particular program illegal. So I filed myself my first official complaint with FCC, and it would be rad if you did too (http://esupport.fcc.gov/complaints.htm), because again, that is some creepy ass shit when your mom and dad's number shows up and you answer and it's some d-bag saying really rude shit to you.
I would never end on a negative note, so I'm asking all of you for your good energy around my pending Peace Corps assignment! Oh, and check out Deism... it makes some fabulous sense I promise :)
With love and gratitude,
Emily Jo
I don't really miss Seattle all too much yet, I've been enjoying all the sun in Spokane and discovering with Danielle all the places worthy of going. I most definitely miss the people in Seattle, however, and eating all my favorite food at a moment's notice. But being able to come home to Libby and see my families whenever I want is most definitely the highlight of this time period :) Another highlight is of course is this wonderful man that showed up and made me all melty and lovey-dovey and whatnot ;) It's going to make leaving rougher than it will be already, but I'm optimistic that it will be alright... :)
On a side note, some creepy asshole has been prank calling me... only the number shows up on my phone as someone that is in my phonebook. So I call the company to figure out what's up, and they tell me that on some of the newest phones, there is a program that allows you to call someone, but te number shows up as someone in the 'victim's' phonebook. That, to me, is some creepy ass shit. So he told me to file a complaint with the FCC, because they are currently working on making that particular program illegal. So I filed myself my first official complaint with FCC, and it would be rad if you did too (http://esupport.fcc.gov/complaints.htm), because again, that is some creepy ass shit when your mom and dad's number shows up and you answer and it's some d-bag saying really rude shit to you.
I would never end on a negative note, so I'm asking all of you for your good energy around my pending Peace Corps assignment! Oh, and check out Deism... it makes some fabulous sense I promise :)
With love and gratitude,
Emily Jo
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The next phase of the journey
What an incredible year 2009 was. I made a personal declaration at the beginning of last year that 2009 was going to be the greatest year ever. Only at the time, it was just a feeling that I had. I wouldn't even know where to begin in describing all of the amazing places my life went in 2009. Most recently, I finished grad school. I then spent 12 days in the Cayman Islands with 6 amazing women, flew home to Montana for Christmas, had an amazing weekend with some amazing people in Vegas, partied like a rockstar, saw Garth Brooks, and then headed back to Seattle to begin packing everything up to move to Spokane with Danielle so I can be close to family before I ship out for the Peace Corps at the end of 2010.
Upon my return to Seattle, I found out that the new mayor was doing a hefty amount of laying off, and all the contract positions were frozen. My contract was supposed to run through March, but will now end on January 27th. It wasn't a huge upset, as I was preparing to leave in March anyway. But I wasn't quite ready to leave Seattle and the many many people that I have gotten to know and love here. I have also expressed before that I want to actually be able to live in Seattle, as I have been going to school full-time since my arrival in 2005. I have done my fair share of exploring, partying, adventuring, urban hiking and 'running the rat race' (please don't think that I think positively of this concept)... but in the last few days, I have decided that I'm ok with leaving Seattle, and am really very excited to retreat to a slower pace of life for awhile. I think that I'll be back eventually, but maybe not... who knows after PC.
I've been going to school since I was 4. Literally. I honestly don't remember a time when I wasn't thinking about homework, and then eventually which college to choose, what books I needed to buy for the next quarter/semester, registration, FAFSA, and all the other things on the checklist of madness that comes with post-secondary education. Meanwhile, working full-time through all of it. In the last 4 years I've been in the hospital with exhaustion, dehydration, a civil war going on in and around my uterus, and a nice ovarian surgery to top it off. And of course everything that comes with day to day life. Please don't misconstrue any of this as a complaint. That isn't my style. It was worth every second, and I live in gratitude daily for the opportunities that God has given me. But it has taken awhile, and a lot of repetition by the people around me, to admit that I need and/or deserve a break for a bit.
Being this tired, combined with a lot of new-found spare time to think about things besides school, has left me increasingly frustrated with the state of the world as well. I have spent the last 6 years of my academic and professional career building my knowledge and awareness in order to be a productive, progressive, competent, articulate and positive representative and advocate of humanity and the potential that each of us holds in our soul. I sobbed for pure joy on election night, as did most of the world. And now more than ever, we can see how truly greedy and determined the opposition is.. and what a horrible impact such a small group of evil people can have on an incredibly large and positive light. On days like today when I am already irritable, the frustration can get quite overwhelming. I weigh a few of the options: 1) Hang our heads in defeat and relinquish the world to greed, selfishness, power and materialism; 2) Continue the battle through the red tape, bureaucracy and technicalities with our heads up to progress by mere inches in a whole lifetime; 3) Keep envisioning the kind of world that I want to see, the kind of world that we could live in, the kind of people that we could all be, and the kind of love that we as humans are capable of giving and receiving... and embody it completely. Forge on, doing my very best to 'be the change' and inspire as many other people as possible, and know in my heart that people are only going to change when they see the light themselves. As the idiocy and disgusting neanderthal behavior continues, I become very inclined to stick with 3, and pray that soon the generations before us that have corrupted and destroyed this place so intensely will retreat to one of their many homes, sit the fuck down, and let us fix it. What happened to the mother-effing Golden Rule, people? It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.
People keep talking about 2012. The theories are endless, the opinions are varied, the scenes they paint are ones of asteroids, floods, disasters of biblical proportions. There was similar anticipation for y2k... which means what? Absolutely not a fucking thing. My opinion? It is a theory I read about years ago, and am still looking at... but seems to make some sense to me, as well as provide some hope. It is believed by some that in 2012, there will be a large shift in awareness. In my terms, the people that 'get it' are finally going to outnumber the people that don't. Which would imply that my hope from before would come true, and the peeps that fucked this place up are going to finally be overpowered in number by those of us who DON'T have our heads shoved up our asses hunting for oil/gold/cash/whatever other form of profit. If this happened, it would make sense that we would be able to progress much more quickly in a direction that is not towards the greed-driven black hole that has been slowly growing larger for a few decades now. Do I think that we're going to 'notice' some epic change on some certain day in 2012? Probably not. Of course it would be rad if everyone on earth got to simultaneously share in the experience of some amazingly intense aura/energy induced light show... then who wouldn't believe in God? :) But who knows? All I know is that right now, on this planet, some horrible horrible shameful shit is going on. People should NOT be without shelter. Children should NOT be hungry and in pain. Families should NOT be being destroyed by medical bills. Senior citizens should NOT be forced to work, unless they really want to. Straight people should NOT be dictating the love and commitment rules of gay people. Men should NOT be dictating women's reproductive choices and rights. And that is just in our country. I would hope that I don't have to go into the atrocities and indescribable situations that our brothers and sisters in other nations are facing today. Our problems and struggles in the states are meager in comparison.
So onward we go, fighting the good fight, maintaining hope that we will prevail and there will be no more suffering at the hands of greed and ignorance. Join if you will, and at least wish us luck if you don't. At least your children will thank us.
With endless gratitude,
Emily Jo
Upon my return to Seattle, I found out that the new mayor was doing a hefty amount of laying off, and all the contract positions were frozen. My contract was supposed to run through March, but will now end on January 27th. It wasn't a huge upset, as I was preparing to leave in March anyway. But I wasn't quite ready to leave Seattle and the many many people that I have gotten to know and love here. I have also expressed before that I want to actually be able to live in Seattle, as I have been going to school full-time since my arrival in 2005. I have done my fair share of exploring, partying, adventuring, urban hiking and 'running the rat race' (please don't think that I think positively of this concept)... but in the last few days, I have decided that I'm ok with leaving Seattle, and am really very excited to retreat to a slower pace of life for awhile. I think that I'll be back eventually, but maybe not... who knows after PC.
I've been going to school since I was 4. Literally. I honestly don't remember a time when I wasn't thinking about homework, and then eventually which college to choose, what books I needed to buy for the next quarter/semester, registration, FAFSA, and all the other things on the checklist of madness that comes with post-secondary education. Meanwhile, working full-time through all of it. In the last 4 years I've been in the hospital with exhaustion, dehydration, a civil war going on in and around my uterus, and a nice ovarian surgery to top it off. And of course everything that comes with day to day life. Please don't misconstrue any of this as a complaint. That isn't my style. It was worth every second, and I live in gratitude daily for the opportunities that God has given me. But it has taken awhile, and a lot of repetition by the people around me, to admit that I need and/or deserve a break for a bit.
Being this tired, combined with a lot of new-found spare time to think about things besides school, has left me increasingly frustrated with the state of the world as well. I have spent the last 6 years of my academic and professional career building my knowledge and awareness in order to be a productive, progressive, competent, articulate and positive representative and advocate of humanity and the potential that each of us holds in our soul. I sobbed for pure joy on election night, as did most of the world. And now more than ever, we can see how truly greedy and determined the opposition is.. and what a horrible impact such a small group of evil people can have on an incredibly large and positive light. On days like today when I am already irritable, the frustration can get quite overwhelming. I weigh a few of the options: 1) Hang our heads in defeat and relinquish the world to greed, selfishness, power and materialism; 2) Continue the battle through the red tape, bureaucracy and technicalities with our heads up to progress by mere inches in a whole lifetime; 3) Keep envisioning the kind of world that I want to see, the kind of world that we could live in, the kind of people that we could all be, and the kind of love that we as humans are capable of giving and receiving... and embody it completely. Forge on, doing my very best to 'be the change' and inspire as many other people as possible, and know in my heart that people are only going to change when they see the light themselves. As the idiocy and disgusting neanderthal behavior continues, I become very inclined to stick with 3, and pray that soon the generations before us that have corrupted and destroyed this place so intensely will retreat to one of their many homes, sit the fuck down, and let us fix it. What happened to the mother-effing Golden Rule, people? It doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.
People keep talking about 2012. The theories are endless, the opinions are varied, the scenes they paint are ones of asteroids, floods, disasters of biblical proportions. There was similar anticipation for y2k... which means what? Absolutely not a fucking thing. My opinion? It is a theory I read about years ago, and am still looking at... but seems to make some sense to me, as well as provide some hope. It is believed by some that in 2012, there will be a large shift in awareness. In my terms, the people that 'get it' are finally going to outnumber the people that don't. Which would imply that my hope from before would come true, and the peeps that fucked this place up are going to finally be overpowered in number by those of us who DON'T have our heads shoved up our asses hunting for oil/gold/cash/whatever other form of profit. If this happened, it would make sense that we would be able to progress much more quickly in a direction that is not towards the greed-driven black hole that has been slowly growing larger for a few decades now. Do I think that we're going to 'notice' some epic change on some certain day in 2012? Probably not. Of course it would be rad if everyone on earth got to simultaneously share in the experience of some amazingly intense aura/energy induced light show... then who wouldn't believe in God? :) But who knows? All I know is that right now, on this planet, some horrible horrible shameful shit is going on. People should NOT be without shelter. Children should NOT be hungry and in pain. Families should NOT be being destroyed by medical bills. Senior citizens should NOT be forced to work, unless they really want to. Straight people should NOT be dictating the love and commitment rules of gay people. Men should NOT be dictating women's reproductive choices and rights. And that is just in our country. I would hope that I don't have to go into the atrocities and indescribable situations that our brothers and sisters in other nations are facing today. Our problems and struggles in the states are meager in comparison.
So onward we go, fighting the good fight, maintaining hope that we will prevail and there will be no more suffering at the hands of greed and ignorance. Join if you will, and at least wish us luck if you don't. At least your children will thank us.
With endless gratitude,
Emily Jo
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